Growing up I loved celebrating Easter. The special early morning service, the brass ensemble (which I later was able to be part of once I learned how to play trumpet), the Easter breakfast that the youth at our church hosted every year, the hymns, and that glorious refrain that begins with “Christ is Risen!”
Opening Up Our Home
I also remember the Easter meal that we would share that afternoon. But what I remember most about it is not the foods that we ate, or the Easter basket hunts, or playing war with our decorated hard-boiled Easter eggs (if you aren’t sure what this is, look it up: playing war with hard-boiled eggs). No, what has stuck with me most all these years later is that the people who joined us for this Easter celebration were not only family members but also friends and other acquaintances.
My parents would invite people in our congregation as well as other church work families in the area who didn’t have extended family to join us. We would open up our home.
My brother and I weren’t taught hospitality; it was modeled for us.
We didn’t just invite people whom we knew would return the favor but those that didn’t necessarily have a place to go. For that day, for those hours, they were welcomed into our home. They became part of our family.
Hospitality and Entertaining: What’s the Difference?
Hospitality is helping others feel that they belong. It’s different than entertaining guests. With entertainment, it becomes about putting on a show, making sure the space is perfect, that nothing is out of place. It’s about performance and looking good. But true hospitality is different. The focus is not on what you do but what you give to the other person. It’s about being real and inviting them into your home, your church, your life, however messy that might be.
Now I’m not saying that you don’t clean up your home before others arrive, but when our preparation becomes more about perfection than connecting with the person, we’ve missed the mark.
These were lessons that were taught to me through experience. I picked up the clutter from my bedroom. I helped bring extra chairs into our living or dining room so that everyone had a place. I greeted people at the door and was tasked with taking their coats. I showed people where the bathroom was and the toys that were set out that the kids could play with. That doesn’t mean that these skills weren’t also honed through books, seminars, or wise individuals, but the best teacher is experience.
You can practice hospitality in your home, with children that you lead, and in your church.
Inviting People into Your Life
In the home with your own family, you don’t have to wait until Easter or a holiday to practice hospitality. Look for occasions to invite people into your lives. Don’t just be friendly but be open to being friends. Be yourself. Whatever you enjoy doing together as a family or as an individual, invite others to join you for that. This could simply be a home cooked meal or the night you pick up pizza. It could be to watch a sports game or to play a board game. To go on a hike or sit around the campfire. Any activity can be an opportunity to show hospitality.
As you invite others into your life, you are showing hospitality. This shows the person or people that they are seen and important; they are not alone and are part of something larger. If you’ve never done this type of thing before, it could feel uncomfortable for you or for your family. You can prepare some ice breaker questions if there is a lull in the conversation. This or that questions. Things like “What’s your favorite holiday?” or “If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?” On the LCMS Family Ministry website, you can find free conversation starters for mealtimes.
Talking through these simple details with your own family ahead of time can be helpful. Assign someone to answer the door and welcome them into your home. Part of that welcome includes helping them with their coats or anything else they are carrying and bringing them into your home. Another task could be introducing them to anyone they don’t know and engaging them in conversation. This includes coaching them on how to include others in their play. There can be a designated task for everyone in the family. Through it all, guests feel welcomed and valued because of your hospitality.
Hospitality at Church and School
We not only practice hospitality in our homes but can apply the same principles with children we lead at church and school. One class could invite another group to join them for a lesson. The class could talk about the tasks and roles needed to prepare for guests so that they showed good hospitality. Students could then be assigned different roles. Some could help prepare the room by straightening up, while others get enough chairs in place for their guests. Children could be assigned the roles of greeter, coat taker, seat shower, or treat deliverer. The students could be instructed to share with the guests the normal routine, what they will do first, next, etc. These guests could then be part of the regular or adapted lesson with the students, intentionally creating discussion moments between the guests and the students.
This idea could be adapted for different environments and with different age groups that are hosted to practice these skills. Most importantly these skills could be utilized when a new student joins the class. An individual could be asked to show them hospitality by sitting with them and explaining to them what is going on. The students could do this with a little more confidence and skill because they’ve already practiced these things.
The Power of Christian Connection
These skills are not just needed by our children but can be practiced in our larger church. We can look for ways to invite people into the family of the church. We can be more intentional about our welcome through our greeters, but also by having in place those people who are connecting people to each other. Can you say “Hello” to someone new, show them where to get coffee or water, or invite them to sit next to you in the pew?
As parents, teachers, and students become more aware of how to show hospitality, we individually and collectively have eyes to see opportunities to show hospitality in our church as well.
We are people who have been shown hospitality by Christ. He has welcomed us into his church. He connects us to His family and has made us His friends. Hospitality is not always convenient. It can cause some sacrifices, but it bears fruit in lives changed. Jesus faced sacrifices that were much greater than taking time to connect with others or being uncomfortable around new people. He went to the cross. Because He did, we belong and through our hospitality can help others belong as well.
Experience the joy of gathering around the meal table with God’s people and sharing together in the blessings of Christ in Come and Be Filled.
