Every single one of us has something that our spouse does that grates on our last nerve. My husband quietly endures my need to walk around with a book open first thing in the morning; while I get dressed, while I make breakfast, sometimes even while I’m tying my shoes for a run. I also have this absurd need to have someone else fill my water bottle. I simply cannot do it for myself. For whatever reason, I like someone doing it for me. My husband and family answer to my cries of “I need water!” and fill my bottle, sometimes kindly, sometimes begrudgingly. It’s weird, but it’s me, and I’m a work in progress.

We inherited great-grandma Gigi’s giant dining room table. It came complete with four leaves, six chairs, and a tiny dot-to-dot print of a house from my mother-in-law’s craft project gone awry. Our table is a huge blessing to me, not because of the weight of the cherry wood or the pretty carving on each chair. It is a blessing because it allows me to gather my family all in one place, even for just a moment, safe and secure.

My husband and I have dreams of a tiny house. We binge eat sharp cheddar cheese and green tea into all hours of the night while watching strange tiny house building shows and making plans to squash all four of our children in one tiny loft with our not-tiny dog.

The world is full of ideas. We live with tiny computers in our pockets to call and text and email anyone in the world. There’s a new TED talk weekly on any topic you can imagine. Researchers create new medicines. Artists create new mediums. Companies create new and innovative products.

When we do premarital counseling, my husband and I have a phrase we say over and over again—“Take divorce out of your vocabulary.”

There has been a lot of talk about tattoos in my house lately. No one got a tattoo, nor is anyone getting one in the near future. They have just been the topic of conversation.

“Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse! The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on His head are many diadems, and He has a name written that no one knows but Himself. He is clothed in a robe dipped in blood, and the name by which He is called is The Word of God” (Revelation 19:11–13 ESV).

These are two important tenets of married life. Once we kind of forget one of these, we look around us and wonder what in the world happened. When did our life begin to look like this? The seed of discontent springs up.

Christmas at our house is always a much-anticipated event. We put our tree up a little earlier than is socially acceptable, and we rock out to various carols and songs in our house and our car, at church, and while baking. We love Christmas, and while I’m always a fan of the word simplify, I’m also a fan of making things a big deal that are a big deal, and Jesus’ birth—it’s a big deal.