Who are your marriage rock stars?

We are a celebrity-obsessed culture. Every time we walk up to the grocery store checkout line, we are inundated with celebrity information. So-and-so got a new hairdresser, this other person wore it better, another person newly embraced religion, Brad and Angelina took their kids to the park, and so on and so forth.

Then come the uglier headlines. This love affair began, another one was uncovered, another split up. Homes are broken, lives torn apart, children shuffled between homes, hearts are left in shattered pieces on a living room floor that once gathered a family together. They may be movie screen rock stars, sports rock stars, and political rock stars, but marriage rock stars they are not, nor were they necessarily meant to be.

Is this whom we look to for our wisdom in marriage and relationships? Hopefully not. We are much more likely to look to our parents, our grandparents, our aunts and uncles, our church family, and our neighbors when we need advice and direction for our own lives. However, are we getting any better wisdom than the here-today-gone-tomorrow messes found on the glossy covers at the grocery store checkout?

Marriages across the globe are a mess, and if we do not intentionally seek help and wisdom on this topic, we, too, will find ourselves, at one point or another, in the thick of a giant marriage mess-ball. In fact, the mess will find us all on its own. No worries there; life is just messy. We’ll get our turn at life trials and marriage trials; no questions there. So whom can we turn to when they come? And the even better question . . . who can help us prepare a solid marriage foundation for the stormy season to come?

God gives us life wisdom and marriage wisdom in John 6:67–68 through the words of Simon Peter:

So Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”

First, we need to look to the Word for everything we need in marriage. Without the Bible, we simply cannot do it and do it well.

The Bible doesn’t make life easier, but it does make life clearer. Without it, we are in a marriage boat with no oars, a ship with no rudder. Jesus tells us exactly what we need for our marriages and families in His Word—confession, forgiveness, mercy, peace, grace, communication, community, gentleness, and so much more.

Second, we need to find ourselves some marriage rock stars.

Look around you—who is doing marriage well? Not who is doing marriage perfectly . . . that doesn’t exist. Who in your life and faith walk is walking in their marriage faithfully, reading the Word, lifting up their spouse in conversation, encouraging each other in word and deed, loving even when it’s hard? These are potential marriage rock stars. Spend time with them. Invite them into your own life in real relationship. Ask for wisdom as a couple and as individuals. Ask if they could partner with you in prayer for your marriage and theirs.

Instead of being inundated with celebrity culture, we can be inundated with Jesus Christ culture, risen Son of the living God culture. We can look up and around us at marriages that are active participants in the Word and in His grace.

Who are your marriage rock stars?

If you have some already, share with us a little in the comments on how this relationship has made an impact for you. If not, let the search begin by the Holy Spirit’s leading. God is faithful. He gives us one another to build up, to share around His Word, and to discern together.

Dear Lord, show us some marriage rock stars today. Amen.


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Written by

Heidi Goehmann

Heidi is a licensed clinical social worker and mental health provider, deaconess, writer, speaker, wife, mom, and advocate. She can always be found at heidigoehmann.com, advocating and providing resources for mental health and genuine relationship. Heidi loves her family, sticky notes, Jesus, adventure, Star Wars, Star Trek, and new ideas . . . not necessarily in that order.

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