In family ministry, different ages matter. Kids who are younger need more tangible lessons, but as kids get older, the modes of teaching them can change too. They don’t need the most colorful pictures, they can listen to more examples, and they can read more on their own.
Each age group is unique. Sunday School classes do a great job for younger kids, confirmation class helps middle schoolers understand the faith and make it their own, and youth group helps encourage and further equip high schoolers in their faith. But I have found that preteens often get overlooked.
Some churches have enough ministry programs to support this age group, but I have found that preteens, usually ages 10–12 (roughly fourth–sixth grade), can sometimes slip through the cracks. These kids can often be lumped into groups that do not coincide with their developmental and learning levels, especially in churches that only have confirmation classes for seventh and eighth graders.
Churches can nurture preteens by implementing different teaching styles and classes throughout their programming and equipping parents with the tools they need to disciple their preteens at home.
One of the most exciting and engaging ways to reach out to preteens is by having a pre-youth group night. I have seen churches do this once a month, every other week, or every week if they have Wednesday night programming. When I was in ministry, we did a fifth and sixth grade night once a month, and the kids loved it! Each month I would have some crazy theme and come up with activities around that theme. Some of the themes included sugar it up (all the candy!), messy games, banana night, pumpkin painting, and so much more! Each event included games and activities that the kids loved, a devotional that connected to the theme of the night, and fellowship. The preteens loved these events because they were attractive. But the events also helped them form relationships with other kids and the leaders. These relationships then helped kids transfer to confirmation classes and onto high school youth group. Many of these kids chose these events over other things, brought other friends who became involved in church activities, and looked forward to them every month!
Churches can include preteens in church services by encouraging them to take sermon notes. Taking sermon notes is a great way to stay focused on the content. I also like to take it a step further and put together a short list of discussion questions that families can go through on the way home.
Preteens can also serve in different aspects of the worship service. Things like reading the lectionary readings or serving as ushers gives kids responsibilities and a sense of belonging. At one of the congregations I served at, our preteens served as ushers for our Advent and Lenten services, and they loved it! The kids would flock to the sign-up sheet, eager to participate. Those service opportunities also led to opportunities for the kids to create relationships with other church members that they may not have otherwise connected with. Its also great for others, young and old, to see this involvement. Older members love to see the youth engaged in service and worship, and the younger kids get excited to see this and are eager to be old enough to do it themselves.
Fourth through sixth graders often get lost in classes too. A lot of times church workers end up lumping them in with younger age groups. But this age group often wants to go deeper! Enduring Faith® Bible Curriculum can easily be adapted for varied age levels. I have also done a fun thing with this age group called “the question jar.” Each session I have a jar available. Students can put any questions they might have about church, God, religion, or the Bible in the jar. They can keep them anonymous, and any question can be asked. This is a “safe” way for this age group to ask some of the more difficult questions they might have. I love to have a pastor or called church worker answer them. That way the answers are biblically and theologically sound. Being open and specifically asking for questions gives kids the opportunity to get answers in a biblically-sound, trusted environment rather than getting it from other worldly sources.
Another important part of engaging preteens in ministry is being able to empower parents to disciple their own kids at home. Parents find this challenging as a whole, and as kids get older and discipleship becomes more than just reading a Bible story, it can become even more daunting.
I love encouraging families to devote time to family devotions each week.
Families can also engage their preteens by turning family media time into faith time. Instead of watching a secular movie, families can watch a faith-filled movie, such as David or The Prince of Egypt, once a month and then debrief it together afterward. Another fun idea is listening to a Christian radio show like Adventures in Odyssey together while putting a puzzle together or building with LEGO bricks. After the episode, families can chat about the values and Bible stories that they listened to.
While the preteen years can be an awkward stage, kids this age are also sponges who are still willing to listen and engage. By focusing on this and creating opportunities for them to engage and participate in church and faith life at home, we can encourage and equip these youth in their budding faith lives!