The pie crust is chilling in the fridge. My children are happily playing and their laughter is filling our home with joy. I am about to pick up the broom for the first time in too many days and deal with the crumbs and dirt on the kitchen floor. Fresh flowers and my favorite candle sit on our kitchen table. I think I have only yelled at my children a few times. Today is good.
Today we have painted and built block towers. Today Sam went to class and is now at work. Today we will be at home. As I sweep and wash dishes, I pray and I think. I think about the last year and a half at the seminary. I think about motherhood. I think about Jesus. I think about how our seminary life has impacted my motherhood, my marriage, my relationship with Jesus. And I am struck by one major realization. Here, in this small apartment, in this life with a crazy schedule, in this situation with little money, I am content. Because if there is one thing that seminary life has taught me, it is to slow down, receive grace with humility and gratitude, and attempt to lavish grace and mercy upon others.
Shortly after we moved here, I was talking with a friend and I remarked, “I never realized how many useless errands I ran in my “old life” until I got here and I knew I shouldn’t spend money unless it was absolutely necessary.” At first, it was hard. I found myself praying through intense moments of restlessness or a desire for something more or different. It was strange to no longer have projects for the house or paint colors to pick.
“Nothing is better than to walk in the Word and the work of God and so to fashion one’s heart that it is quiet and satisfied…. The true despisers of the world are the people who accept what God sends them, gratefully use all things when they have them, and gladly do without them if God takes them away.” Martin Luther
“If we are to avoid such restlessness, disquiet, and disgust, we must have faith. Faith is firmly convinced that God governs equitably and places every man into that station which is best and most fitting for him.” Martin Luther
“Be sure of your call to every business you go about. Though it is the least business, be sure of your call to it; then, whatever you meet with, you may quiet your heart with this: I know I am where God would have me. Nothing in the world will quiet the heart so much as this: when I meet with any cross, I know I am where God would have me, in my place and calling; I am about the work that God has set me.” Jeremiah Burroughs
“I thank God for the things I do not own.” St. Teresa of Avila