When my wife and I were expecting our first child, we knew that we wanted a daily routine with our family that included a time of prayer. We understood our responsibility God was entrusting with us. This child who was to be born was the Lord’s; as parents we were stewards of him. Therefore, we knew that we needed to raise him to know Jesus and to model faith to him as he developed faith practices that would undergird and support the faith God gives in Baptism.
During this time, a church worker gave a challenge to pray the Lord’s Prayer with your family. It seems simple, but this idea really sparked our family’s prayer life. We decided that we would pray the Lord’s Prayer every night as a family. It became part of our routine.
So after bath time, after the jammies were on, and as we lay our son in his crib, we swaddled him, and then we spoke the Lord’s Prayer over him. Very quickly we added two other elements to our routine: a simple prayer and a blessing. The prayer was the second verse of the hymn “Now the Light Has Gone Away” (LSB 887) which reads,
“Jesus, savior, wash away
all that has been wrong today;
help me every day to be
good and gentle, more like thee.”
And the blessing was a simple one that reminded him of his baptismal identity, God’s love, and my love. While tracing a cross on my son’s forehead I would say, “You are God’s child. Jesus loves you, and I love you.” It wasn’t complicated, it wasn’t even that creative. But it was simple, repeatable, and meaningful.
Even though it was simple, and even though I was a trained church worker, when we started doing this as we brought our son home from the hospital, it felt strange. It was a little uncomfortable. But soon it became second nature to us. And as our son grew up praying with his family every evening, it has never been uncomfortable for him. In fact, if we didn’t pray, that would be strange for him.
As our son became verbal, we taught him the prayers, having him repeat a line at a time until he knew them by heart. When our other son was born, we included him in our family prayers.
Once these prayers were known, we added a few simple prayer prompts—God, thank you for … and God, please help … We would talk through with them what they were thankful for and who or what they wanted to ask God’s help for. And then we would have them repeat their prayers after we said them—Dear God (Dear God), thank you for (thank you for) pizza (pizza). For several years it felt like every time we had pizza, we were thanking God for it. My wife and I would also pray using these same prompts, modeling prayers and adding our own prayers to our time of family prayer. Eventually our boys didn’t need us to repeat their prayers but could pray boldly and confidently on their own.
We still pray together as a family, and our pattern of prayer remains similar. While we have changed the “Jesus, Savior” prayer to Luther’s Evening prayer, and we have fewer prayers giving thanks for pizza and more prayers asking God to be with family or friends in need, we do still pray every night.
As a parent, when one of our schedules didn’t allow us to be home for prayer time, we would still have our family prayers. When we both were gone and had a sitter, we instructed them on this routine just as we did on the other things we wanted them to do. And because our boys knew this routine, even at a young age, they could lead their sitter through prayer time. Now when one of our boys has an activity that causes them not be home, when we do family prayers, they pray on their own using the pattern that they have learned.
There is more than one model for family prayer, but it is important to keep it simple and repeatable. There are other prayer prompts and other great prayers to use as a family, like Luther’s morning and evening prayer or simple orders of prayer in Lutheran Service Book starting on page 294. You can also download free resources like the Daily Devotions Guide for Families and Family Devotions Calendar, available through the LCMS.
Just as every family’s approach to prayer looks different, the right time to pray together will differ from family to family. What’s important is to choose a time that works for your family. It could be in the morning, at the table during a meal, or at night. It could even be in the car. Again, the goal is to make this a special time that you can do every day with your family.
Start with a simple habit and pattern of prayer. And even if you only get to it a couple of times a week at the beginning, you are now a family that prays together. You are a family that values spiritual things in your home.
And if you didn’t start when your kids were young, or even if your kids are grown, you can still develop this practice. Guilt and regret should not stop us from starting this healthy spiritual practice. Older children might push back, but that should not keep us from doing good things with our family. If this is the case, you could consider starting with an apology. “I’m sorry that we haven’t done this regularly as a family before now. I didn’t lead the way that I should have. But God desires that we pray to Him, and this is something we are going to do together from now on. We are going to need everyone to help us develop this habit.” And then move forward, knowing that you have the mercy and forgiveness of God won through the work of Christ, and His Holy Spirit to help you and your family grow in faith.
Family prayer will never be flawless, and it doesn’t need to be. Through simple, repeated habits of prayer, God uses His Word to shape children who know they can turn to Him in every season of life. Even when our routines are imperfect or inconsistent, the Holy Spirit is at work—strengthening faith, anchoring hearts in God’s promises, and blessing these small, faithful moments with lasting fruit.