“I don’t want to pray right now,” my two-and-a-half-year-old says. I know that these words don’t actually mean she doesn’t want the comfort of prayer, but she doesn’t want to go to bed. She’s tucked into her soft pink blankets, her purple bunny (affectionately called Floppy) is tucked under her arm, and her head is on the pillow. My husband and I are always flustered when this happens, even though it’s practically become a nightly occurrence. But we value prayer and so we press her to find something she wants to pray for (right now, we often thank God for princess dresses).
Every day of her life we have prayed with her. In our first moments alone as a family of three, we prayed together. Our family shows that we value prayer because we practice it together and encourage separate prayer life as well. When our prayer life falters, we feel it. When we don’t live out what we value, we feel as if we are off balance.
Last year, my husband and I spent some time defining and thinking through what our family values now and what we’d like to value more. It has helped us to make decisions with more wisdom and guide our family with clarity. Today, I want to encourage you to think about your own family’s values.
The first step is to investigate and define what your family values right now. This isn’t what you hope your family is valuing but what you are actively doing. A quick way to start is with the five love languages. Does your family value quality time? Is that together as a unit, individually with each member, or with other believers? How does that affect your walk with Christ? Do you go out of your way to make this time happen? Use each love language as a launching point to think about what your family is actually doing.
When you do this, you may be a bit disappointed in what you find your family is valuing. That’s okay—bring it to the Lord. Ask Him how you can refocus that value and walk in wisdom.
Each Sunday, I struggle to want to get the kids out the door and into church. As a pastor’s wife, I do it alone and there’s no one to hold me accountable but myself. I’d be lying if I said that I don’t ever consider staying home. It’s a thought that crosses my mind the moment I wake up to the sound of either my younger daughter’s cries or my older daughter’s “all done!”
But I know that participation in church is a value in our household. I know that the benefits of having my children hear the Word of the Lord outweigh the benefit of not having to wrangle them in the pew. And so I get ready for church. The most important part of values is what we live out.
I say this not to prove that I am somehow righteous or to be the most honest but to encourage you that you are not alone in falling short. That sometimes what we say we value is just what we want our values to look like. You can value what you say you value. Jesus is the one who gives us the strength and moves our desires to work for good. Bring your current values and your desired values to the feet of the Lord. Philippians 1:6 states,
And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
I echo Paul’s words today. God is working through your values and He will continue to do so for the benefit of the Kingdom.
Scripture: ESV®.
Use the book of Proverbs to find wisdom to build a sturdy foundation for values in this month’s Everyday Faith Calendar.