There’s a lot of talk by social media influencers about dealing with emotions—for both adults and kids. There is a plethora of children’s books about dealing with big feelings (several of which I own and read when we’re having a bad day). You can sign up for all kinds of different online programs or classes on helping kids deal with anger, sadness, or fear, as well as helping parents stay calm and patient. And some of this can be very helpful.
But God’s Word has a lot to say about emotions, much more than some armchair expert on the internet. After all, God made us as living, moving, feeling human beings. And then He took on human flesh and experienced the whole spectrum of human emotions Himself—joy, betrayal, frustration, sadness, suffering, anger, fear. And He did it all without sinning. We can trust what His Word says about how to deal with our human emotions.
When you look at emotions throughout Scripture, one recurring theme is that God can handle our emotions. He wants us to come to Him first and foremost with whatever we are feeling. Like a child who comes home from school and pours out all his feelings on his loving parents, we can go to God with all our overflowing emotions. He will never turn us away.
Feeling angry? Psalm 4:4 says,
Be angry, and do not sin.
That’s tough to do. In fact, we fail often at this and seek God’s forgiveness. And then we turn to God for wisdom about handling our anger. We pray to be merciful, gentle, and slow to anger, like God is. We seek His help in forgiving someone we are angry with. And we thank God for the forgiveness He won for us when He poured all of His righteous anger out on His Son instead of us deserving sinners.
Overcome with grief and sadness? The same Jesus who wept at the tomb of His friend Lazarus, even when He knew how the story would end, will hear your cries. He doesn’t turn you away or tell you that Christians should be happy all the time. God promises,
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)
He doesn’t give you all the answers—just ask Job about that. But He does promise to be with you because of His Son. And He promises that one day He will bring us to our eternal home, where all our tears and sadness will be wiped away.
No matter the emotion, God can handle it. Shame? God takes that upon Himself on the cross. Fear? As David says,
The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? (Psalm 27:1)
Joy? God rejoices in His creation and pours out blessings of joy on His children.
If I’m still learning how to deal with my grown-up emotions in a God-pleasing way, how can I teach my kids what to do? It’s a constant struggle, and we won’t always get it right. But God will help us as we help our kids.
Keep it simple with these three guidelines:
Pray about your emotions—in front of your kids. Let them hear you say, “God, it’s been a hard day, and we’re all tired and upset right now. Forgive us. Help us to treat one another with love and patience. Amen.”
When they are calm, talk to your kids about sin. Give a relatable example, like hitting your brother when you’re mad. Tell them what to do instead, and how to say sorry. Remind them that Jesus forgives them and will help them make better choices.
Show your kids what it looks like to go to God with your emotions and handle them in a God-pleasing way. Breathe and pray before reacting in anger. Repent when you don’t handle things as you should. Send cards to people going through grief, pointing them to the hope we have in Christ. Read Scripture aloud when you are in a thunderstorm or scary situation. Remember to thank God when something joyful happens in your life.
So take your emotions—and your kids’ emotions—and lift them up to the God who hears you, knows you, and loves you endlessly.
Scripture: ESV®.
Discover what God’s Word says about emotions with the Everyday Faith Calendar, featuring daily Bible readings and reflection prompts for young families all month long.